Cause love means so many different things

This isn’t me, but it depicts me right now. I am lost in thought, looking afar and away, wondering what it is I love. It is a word used so loosely. We love family, we love the dog, we love pizza and we love the carnival and we love dreams. Every one of these things is unique, yet we use the one verb to explain our very thoughts about each one.

I have been reading about some people’s personal affinities in a challenge going around Medium. Every time I read one I wonder if I can come up with 40 things. I’ve been slowly climbing out of a deep well the past few years. Let’s see what I can find. I know this, that lately I hate to let a challenge get the best of me.

1. Be known to many by now, my first love is God. Without Him in my life I honestly don’t know where I would be today.

2. Second chances, and third and forth and twentieth…Every breath is a chance to live and choose again.

3. Being me. This is a new like for me. It is slow coming and has to do with those chances.

4. People. I am an introvert who needs breaks. Mostly I would love to just hermitize my life, but when I do take rests from my isolation moments, I sooooo enjoy people. Maybe it is because I am one, after all.

5. Hope….For five years I have been seeing the hope that I have been missing! Now I look for it in everything! I have signs all over my house.

6. Love for learning. This is new for I have many learning difficulties. I feel I am in preschool and on my way up.

7. Writing. This also, still in incubation, is a growing obsession.

8. Reading articles on Medium. Having trouble with lengthy books, these articles are just my size, and helping me advance to bigger books.

9. (Black) licorice! I parentheses black because some think it comes in different colors and flavors. I can hear my dad saying Licorice is a flavor. There is no such thing as red licorice!” Yes it is carved into me. Anyways, this probably belongs at number 2. But these aren’t necessarily in priority order.

10. Which brings me to my children. They drive me crazy, rarely think or believe any of the same things as I do, patronize me, but I love them to the moon and back, even though sometimes I wish they were there. And I know they love me back.

11. My husband of 30 years. Yes, its messy, lots and lots of issues. Much healing needed, but yes, there is love.

12. Mystery series on Netflix. Watching Midsomer Murders with my son, Murdock, Sherlock, Criminal Minds, Monk and NCIS are among my favorites. Maybe they let me know I am, in fact, one of the sane.

13. My all time favorite movie is Harvey, with Jimmy Stewart. I used to own it on VHS, but now am looking for a DVD. It is timeless.

14. Rabbits, (which may explain Harvey). My affinity to them stems from my maiden name which means rabbit in Portuguese.

15. FLOWERS! Who cannot love flowers! They are God’s ornaments in the daytime! Splashes of His beauty, confetti at our feet!

16. STARS! They are Gods ornaments in the nighttime. Tossed across the sky, they hug us while we sleep!

17. Poetry..did you catch that above? I’ve been writing it for five years, still in training and experimenting with different forms. I especially like haiku and limericks. I do challenges with three times a week.

18. The ocean! Not a swimmer, but grew up close by and spent many summer days there. The smell, the sound, the feel, the seabirds, the sand, the colors, the waves, the salt, all of it. I am a few hours from it now, but try to visit as often as I can.

19. Baking and cooking. I am very domestic, but not lately due to schedules and lack of people to eat it. I do love surprising my friends with homemade goodies for no special reason!

20. My job. I am a caregiver to the elderly at some point seven days a week. Twenty years into it. I will be one day where they are. I want to love them the way I will want to be loved.

21. Storms! No I don’t want anyone hurt, but I love a good storm!

22. Sleeping to thunder and rain. And it must be real! I can’t do the sleep apps. They are annoying!

23. Singing. I sing occasionally at church. Not professional, but if I had it to do all over again…..

24. A trip to Israel I took in 1999 with my church family. Best 7 days of my life! Unfortunately a lot of my pictures went missing. Someday I hope to find them, but they are still in my mind.

25. Mediterranean food! It didn’t start on my trip, but a couple years ago when I started caring for a Lebanese couple in my town. I thought I died and went to heaven. It must be downward in my DNA. My mouth was never so happy when I started tasting their food.

26. Puzzles of any kind, except numbers (they drive me crazy). I’m not great at them, but love the challenge.

27. Eating! Many don’t think this is true. I weigh 103 lbs. But I love something in my mouth every 20 min or so (and no I don’t purge). I try to eat fairly healthy but I have my addictions and live with a not-so-healthy-minded person, so it makes it hard.

28. Yes, coffee! Light, no sugar, not too strong, but not at all weak. No Starbucks! Like another blogger, the first cup is the best cup. For me, 20 minutes in the pot is too old. And it must be hot! Or iced! Never in between!

29. I love all colors! I won’t say I have a favorite for fear of leaving the others behind, but I do tend to lean toward pink. Five years ago I was suddenly in love with orange…still love it, but not like that year!

30. Coloring is a recent love of mine. I never liked it. I thought it was very stressful, but this year Jan Cox put a desire in me to try again. I have now discovered a new love for it, and if I am not striving over doing it right and perfect (and what does that even mean?) it is indeed very relaxing.

31. My friends. I have many for which I am so very thankful. I don’t see a lot of them, as they are scattered here, there and everywhere. I may spend a lot of time alone, but I know I have friends. How fortunate I am!

32. My siblings. My parents are deceased, but my four siblings are still with me. I don’t see them often either. I love them with every fiber of me. I think it tragic when siblings can’t get along. I see and hear of it all the time. Being the youngest of five, they were my first people! Maybe it helps that we live far apart.

33. My treadmill. It was given to me. I don’t use it as I should, but I’m getting better. It focuses me. I listen to podcasts, I pray, I now read while I am walking on it in the mornings. Do I like exercise? Not at all, but I have found these other things can distract me long enough to get the benefits.

34. Waking up before the sun when all is quiet and just being alone with my thoughts and my Bible and my coffee and my journal for at least an hour, maybe more. It doesn’t happen every day, but still more than not.

35. Handwriting letters and cards to friends. The art of cursive is rapidly diminishing, and it upsets me. I purpose a few times a month to write out a note or letter and send it to someone rather than emailing. My personality is in my fingers and I am not ready to let it die. Send me your address and I will drop you a line.

36. Word games. Scrabble is my favorite, but any word game will do.

37. Sewing. I learned as a child and made much of my own clothes and my daughter’s when she was small. Other things have since filled its place.

38. Prayer. It exceeds every other form of relaxation, therapy or entertainment I can ever engage in. It is fellowship with my Savior, whether speaking to Him or listening for Him. When I am in prayer it relieves my stress, calms my emotions and settles my cravings. It relieves my fears, balances my emotions and gives me assurance. I certainly don’t do it enough as I should. Working on it!

39. Loose fitting clothes. I am most comfortable in baggy pants and oversized tops and sweatshirts. I live in sneakers and dress up when the situation calls for it. If I could live in my pajamas every day, I would.

40. Analyzing the many different sides of things. Not taking sides, but seeing your side. Trying to put myself at your side to understand. Not agreeing with what I don’t agree with. Not compromise or appeasement, but understanding and conversation. This too, is process.

There, it is done. And who do I tag? Zach J. Payne Shannon Ashley Shae Jackson CHARLENE C. Violet Escalera Frank McKinley Kamga Tchassa Randy Shingler Nupoor Raj Mukkove Johnson Diane Stephenson

And everyone who reads this.

Born twice, I die daily. Serious about Jesus. What I write you may not want to read. Okay. I write what I believe and what I learn from others, just like you.

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